Context before the aria: The first wave of sharknadoes have hit Florida. Matt has been eaten by a shark. Faye is wandering around the streets of Clearwater in shock.

FAYE

When you think of spring break,
You think of fun.
Drunk in the sun at the beach or national Parks.

But it’s hard to be happy.
Yes it sucks for anyone.

When your boyfriend’s been killed by a tornado full of sharks.

Full of sharks.

Oh Sharknado!

Why do you follow me?

Oh Sharknado!

When can I be free?

Is it global warming?

Is Greta Thunberg right?

It’s hard to deny climate change

When the weather starts to bite.

We were to be married

After a little while.

But the plan is incapacitated.

For it’s hard to wear a dress

And walk down the aisle

When your man is decapitated.

Decapitated.

Oh Sharknado!

I think I might be cursed!

Oh Sharknado!

This spring break is the worst!

I just wanted to be wasted.
Was that too much to ask?

Now there’s sharks falling from the sky.

And I’ve got sand up my ass.

(She sees a chainsaw lying on top of a Mitsubishi.)

Wait! I could use this chainsaw

Choose to fight back.

Or run them over with this Mitsubishi.

I could be a fighter.

Not run but attack.

And put them on the list of endangered species.

Now I know why people

Eat shark’s fin stew.

It’s to keep their numbers down.

I know it’s not a popular

P.C. point of view.

But now it’s time to grind them to the ground!

Ahs! (She is formulating a plan to attack the sharknado.)

Oh Sharknado!

I won’t sit back and watch!

Oh Sharknado!

Gonna kick you in the crotch!

Is that physically impossible?
Whatever! I don’t care.

As long as I have my chainsaw!

Oh Sharknado, beware!

Beware!

Beware!

Beware!

It’s time for a change in the weather!

(She runs off to gather survivors to help her cause.)